A Night in the Major Leagues

Madeline Lederer

Lewis Katz School of Medicine, Class of 2020

“Can you tell me where the CT reading room is?”

“I don’t know honey, try down there.”

“Hi, I’m trying to find the trauma team in CT”

“Oh, you’re with us”

“I found our first year!”

“Follow me.”

“Are you a Sox fan? I’m pretty loyal to the Phillies.”

“Just do what I do, and make sure the cords don’t catch on anything.”

“You missed some blood on the table.”

“We’re going to radiology.”

“Why did you activate trauma when her scans were negative?”

“You’ve only done anatomy?”

“We’re going through the list soon, try to follow along.”

“He’s crashing.”

“I’m going to get in line.”

“Do you know how to do compressions?”

“There were a lot of people, it’s okay, you’re only a first year.”

“Stay here, it’s more interesting.”

“Time of death, 8:24.”

“We get more and more delirious as the night goes on.”

“Follow me, we need to run the list.”

“I lost a good shirt, and a good bra!”

“The sound of those pagers gives me PTSD”

BEEP

“We need to go!”

“Put on gloves.”

“Should I take off my coat?”

“Do you know the trauma mnemonic?”

“Motorcycle crash, patient was not wearing a helmet.”

“Bilateral breath sounds normal.”

“Do you want any pain medicine sir?”

“Why is he shivering?”

“Someone call plastics.”

“I want everything scanned.”

“FAST is normal x8.”

“No Hemo, No Pneumo.”

“I refuse this treatment if you have to take out my piercings.”

“Are you on any drugs sir?”

“Take him to CT.”

“Don’t run with the beds!”

“You can never have too much Guac.”

“This is why he’s my soulmate.”

“Is this all going over your head?”

“I’m sorry it’s a boring night.”

“Transport, follow me now.”

“Sir can you hear me?”

“His right upper extremity is moving.”

“What time did he fall?”

“4pm.”

“What time is it now?”

“10:35”

“His wife gave him aspirin.”

“Subdural hematoma, subarachnoid hematoma, lacerated eye, possible stroke.”

“No Hemo, No Pneumo.”

“CT is busy.”

“Well tell them to make room!”

“Go get the blankets like I told you.”

“Great job!”

“We have no room.”

“Get this guy out now, his elbow can wait. Why are you even scanning his elbow?”

“Is his family here?”

“What artery is the most common cause of subdural hematoma?”

“Do you know what a pneumothorax is?”

“Where are we taking him?”

“I’m sorry Mr. Natale, this is going to hurt a little.”

“Quick pinch.”

“I guess we have to try again.”

“You’re lucky, you only get one try when they are awake.”

“Hand me a 4×4.”

“No, it’s up there, No! Up there!”

“Scuse me darlin’.”

“We are not taking him to the SICU.”

“I can’t sew him up, that’s muscle not skin.”

“I need to go update the family.”

“She’s a first year, of course she can’t read a ECG.”

“What mnemonics did I teach you today?”

“Food is here, let’s go.”

“You made it for the top of the ninth, sorry the Sox are losing.”

I walk out of the hospital at midnight more awake than when I arrived 5 hours ago and ride home in my scrubs, finally feeling like I am in medical school.

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